Book #3

How to Win Friends and Influence people

By Dale Carnegie

About five years ago my husband was given a copy of this book, and has since then has read it about twenty times and has given it away to friends at least nine times. He would tell me how wonderful this book was and although I was happy he found a book he really liked, I ,wrongly, thought that this book was only for Management people or people who wanted to read about Management. Then he sat me down and told me, "Ami, you should really read this book I think that will help you with a lot of your everyday encounters." As I read I was intrigued to find out that this book was not only for people interested in Management, but also for people wanting to know how to communicate with others.

In this book there are four major parts: Fundamental techniques for handling people, Six ways to make people like you, Win people to your way of thinking, and Be a leader; How to change people without giving offense or arousing resentment.

The first section of the book stuck out to me. Benjamin Franklin once said " I will speak ill of no man and speak all the good I know of everybody". This brings us to the most important part in Dale's book Never Criticize, Condemn, or Complain in which he writes "Any fool can criticitze, condemn or complain and most fools do but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving."

Additionally, the second section stuck out as well: Six ways to make people like you. The six principles he lists are; one, become genuinely interested in other people. Two, Smile. Three, Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any lanuage. Four, Be a good listener, Encourage others to talk about themselves. Five, Talk in terms of the other person's interests. Lastly we come to six, Make the other person feel important and do it sincerly.

The principle that definitely caught my eye was, Principle Four. I have always thought of myself as a good listener, but I never encouraged others to talk about themselves, I would just let them finish. I was too interested in the next time I got to talk. The reason this caught my eye was for a story the author had retold by someone he had encountered. Millie Esposito's son, Robert, said " Mom, I know that you love me very much." Ms. Esposito: " Of course I love you very much. Did you doubt it?" Robert: " No, but I really know you love me because whenever I want to talk about something you stop whatever you are doing and listen to me." This was very powerful to me, as a mother I, too, want my children to know that I love them and I don't want to be waiting for my next turn to talk.

This was a very good book and I would definately give it a thumb's up. If you are interested in winning friends or want to know of ways to make people like you more, then this book is for you. I never thought I would read a book like this because as mentioned above, thought it was for management people. This book will not only help you at work, but at home and spiritually as well. Please take the time to read this book you will not be disappointed.